GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
