The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
