My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
