i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
