oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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