Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I bet he comes in French.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
