You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
