apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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