so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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