She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
