...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
