She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
