So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
