My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
