I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
