Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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