Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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