so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
