So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
