Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
