one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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