As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Your penis caused this!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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