Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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