haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
