And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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