Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
