I hate your face
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Its about making memories worth repressing
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
