the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
