you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
