I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
