worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
