I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
