I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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