the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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