I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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