I think i peed on brittanys purse
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
