oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she peed on how many people?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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