Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
