I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
