Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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