im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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