Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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