david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
please come you make the beer taste better
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
