don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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