dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
