I'm lost and stupid without you.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
