I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
