honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
