Jerry, you need to find god
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
