I'm gonna have a badass scar
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm bleeding and have questions
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
